


never too old for wishes

by youngerdrgrey



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: 30 x 31 Writing Challenge, F/M, Ignoring the s3 winter finale because fck that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 18:35:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9455246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngerdrgrey/pseuds/youngerdrgrey
Summary: Ten years ago, Annalise sat in front of the butter cake her husband had bought for her and wished that she could fix what she'd done. She wished that losing her son was enough penance for making another boy lose his mother, and she wished that she could somehow earn that boy's forgiveness.But ten years later, she doesn't have much to show for it./or,the time Wes repays the favor and helps Annalise through her birthday+ fck whoever made the decision to end the s3 winter finale like that (Pete Nowalk probably)





	

**Author's Note:**

> written for day 18 of 30 x 31 writing challenge, **prompt:** celebrating a birthday

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Ten years ago, Annalise sat in front of the butter cake her husband had bought for her and wished that she could fix what she'd done. She wished that losing her son was enough penance for making another boy lose his mother, and she wished that she could somehow earn that boy's forgiveness.

But ten years later, she doesn't have much to show for it. Her husband's dead, now the boy's rapist father is dead, and the boy might as well be gone too. Still, she sits in front of a butter cake she made for herself, and she wishes that she can fix her wrongs and earn forgiveness.

"I know I don't deserve it," she says, "But I'm too old now to be holding onto all of this. I'm too...." She sighs so hard that she almost blows out the candle. "God, I'm so _tired_  of giving everything I have and winding up buried in everyone else's shit. I understand the way debt works; I mean, I went to college and law school. I get it. But, I shouldn't be this deep. And I shouldn't still be clawing for every scrap of affection and attention and respect that these people have to give me. I-I deserve a chance to do better without it destroying what little I've got left. So that's all I want. A chance."

She lifts her hands at the wrists in a small show of defense. A small prayer, or surrender. But nothing happens. Nothing ever happens when she wishes for it. Except for maybe all hell breaking loose. She blows out the candle and reaches for the knife beside the cake.

Her phone buzzes. Loud and incessant even on vibrate. Bonnie knows better than to text her more than once on her birthday. And Bonnie assured her that everyone else knew it too. She slides the phone over so she can read the message.

> _To Prof Annalise // 8:42 pm  
> _ **Wes:**  I know we're not supposed to text you, but I wanted to check in. Make sure you're not relapsing or blitzed out somewhere. I know, it's none of my business, but I would feel better knowing you're okay and not too lonely today. Or any day really

If he was so worried about her being lonely, then he should've moved in when she mentioned it instead of running off and shacking up with Laurel. Of all people in this office, he chose the one obsessed with somebody else. What was wrong with him? What was his predisposition towards emotionally and psychologically unavailable women? And if that's his type, why isn't he knocking down her door, huh?

Not that she necessarily wants him to be. She just -- whatever, she wants him to be. Wants someone to be interested in her that won't betray and embarrass her, or move on to someone who can love them better than she ever could. But that's selfish. Holding on to someone just for the sake of holding them. Just to have an escape. It's why all she got from Eve was a phone call she'd ignored three hours ago. There's still a voicemail, heard but caught in that limbo between saved and ignored. She'll probably keep it for a while. Lie in her bed and listen to Eve's voice bounce off what had to be bathroom tiles.

She should text Eve back. She should eat her cake. She should... stop sighing so damn much.

> _To Eve Rothlo // 8:44 pm  
> _ **Annalise:**  Thank you for calling. I'm celebrating with Bonnie tonight, don't worry. You can make it up to me next time you're in town.

Okay, good, one person down.

Though, she has to figure out what to say to Wes. He tends to overreact about everything. Analyzes messages for information. Won't move in when she asks him to but will pop up at random times to bring things he's noticed aren't in the house. Sometimes he leaves things, and it has to be on purpose since it's recent. A jacket here or there, a book he's reading, a take out menu for the new Thai place down the street. He's helping in as little way as he can. She could probably do the same.

> _To Wes Gibbins // 8:46 pm  
> _ **Annalise:**  I'm fine, Wes. I've got a cake and everything. No need to worry about me  
>  **Annalise:**  But since you're going to anyway, I'm as sober today as I have been the last few weeks. There's a meeting in a few hours, I might go.

It's a lie, of course. Going to the meeting would be admitting that this day is somehow harder than any other. 

> _To Prof Annalise // 8:48 pm  
> _ **Wes:**  Don't tell them what day it is  
>  **Wes:**  I hear they'll turn all the donuts into one big cake and sing at the top of their lungs

She snorts.

> _To Wes Gibbins // 8:50 pm  
> _ **Annalise:**  They couldn't be any worse than the class this morning. I needed ear plugs

> _To Prof Annalise // 8:51 pm  
> _ **Wes:**  I'll be sure to bring you some next year

She needs a minute to take that one in. Because next year means he'll still be around. Next year means he'll be slipping her little gifts and continuing to breathe in this tainted Middleton air. He's not darting off like Connor wants to be, or running away like Frank. He's sticking around.

Her phone jumps in her hand. She glances back down to see what he's added.

> **Wes:**  Or... if it's not too late....

Then the knock happens. On the front door. She practically falls out of her chair she gets up so quick. Rushes over with her phone still firm in her hand to let him in. If she were more composed, she would've taken her time. Would've played this moment off as something she hadn't wanted, like he'd read her wrong and she really did want to go to that meeting and listen to a bunch of people talk about their lives for an hour.

But it's her birthday, and she's alone, so she opens the door in under a minute. Wes holds up a bottle of apple cider and gives her a lopsided grin.

"It's got bubbles at least," he says.

She takes it. "You shouldn't enable. I'll tell them all about it at the meeting."

He laughs while untying his shoes. "Of course you will. But I was thinking we do something you actually like doing today."

All she likes are sex and drinking, so the options are pretty limited there. "What do I like to do?"

Wes shrugs his jacket off and just stands there. All twenty feet of him, staring down at her in her dimly lit foyer. His tongue pokes out to wet his lips. She does her best not to do the same. He says, "You tell me."

She normally wishes to be forgiven, but something about him chanting her name sounds a lot like retribution.

/

/


End file.
